Adam Grant - The Leader
Adam Grant was working at a background investigations company for 15 years. He started from the bottom and worked his way up. He was very high up in the chain and was on a clear upward trend and being noticed.
While his position, title, and paycheck were all impressive, Adam was often stressed. After a long, tiring day at work, Adam would have an hour commute home. Once he got home, he would dump all his stress on his wife and then would crash without having spent any time with his daughter. Adam wanted so badly to do well at work that his self-imposed stress was not only impacting his relationships with his family, but it was also impacting him physically. He was often sick to his stomach, he had sleepless nights, and horrible IBS (irritable bowel syndrome).
For years, Adam accepted his state. For years, he suffered from chronic stress, thinking that things would get better with time. It was Becca Buttermore, a coach from the Frame of Mind Coaching™ team, who finally helped Adam realize that after 15 years, things weren’t getting better any better. Becca helped Adam put his life into perspective and consider what really mattered to him – his wife, his daughter, his family. Becca gave Adam the confidence to quit his job and take a step back. She gave him the confidence to believe that things would be okay if he took some time to breathe and spend extra time with his family.
Adam was worried, he didn’t think he would be able to find another job at the same level; he didn’t think he could handle the pay cut. But what Adam realized was that it wasn’t worth it. The money, the job, the title, none of it was worth the stress, the physical pain, and the impact it was having on his most important relationships. So, with Becca’s help, Adam quit his job and took that pay cut. He took some time to breathe and spend with his loved ones. Then, within a year, he got another great job and another great position. Adam went right back up to where he was before, only this time, he was happier.
Although the external stress was the same, if not higher, this time, the team, the environment, and the commute were better. And most importantly, this time, Adam had a toolkit to handle his stress. This toolkit that Becca provided was based on curiosity and assuming positive intent. Becca looked at the thoughts and beliefs that were getting in Adam’s way and helped move him to a more comfortable place. Adam was better able to
handle his stress and leave his tension at the door before going home. He was able to stop dumping his load on his wife and family. Adam took this toolkit and ran with it.
Despite the stress, this time, Adam was no longer physically ill. He was no longer sick to his stomach from pressure and nerves. He no longer had sleepless nights or angered conversations with his wife. He had time for his daughter. After coaching, not only was Adam happier, healthier, and had improved relationships, he found himself becoming a better leader. He uses this toolkit at least weekly and built his team on those principles. He turned a team that “had a history of conflict” into a team that “had a great culture.” Adam found himself becoming a coach. The FOM principles have stuck with him for good. Maybe one day, he’ll decide to go further with his own coaching training.
Adam says, “It’s hard getting someone like me – a strong leader with a big ego – to do coaching. People like me think we can do everything ourselves and that we don’t need any help. But the truth is, FOM changed my world.” It gave Adam the strength to take some time off and revamp his life and relationships. “It’s hard to assess the value of coaching. The results are often intangible and hard to quantify. But if there is one tangible measure of change, it’s the physical difference I feel.”