Why did you decide to pursue Frame of Mind Coaching™?
I had heard Kim speak about mentorship at an Entrepreneurs' Organization event. She also mentioned FOM, and I was compelled by its framework; the marriage of exploring ones limiting beliefs and journaling to find their root causes. A colleague of mine had actually been coached by Kim, and had a great experience. I was sold.
How would you describe your life before and after coaching?
Before coaching, I was expending a ton of energy, but I wasn't getting anywhere. I was doing things because I thought I should be, not because I wanted to. I pushed myself to do things even though they didn't align with my core values and what I wanted out of life. I didn't know how to break free of this cycle.
I had read books that told me I should be more productive. I was working 12 hour days, so productivity clearly wasn't the answer. I knew I was missing something, that I was holding myself back. Every day I was wearing myself down.
Coaching made me examine what I really wanted to be doing. We developed a formula wherein I identify what I want, I declare it, and I commit to it. Then the actions towards it feel effortless, and I get what I want. Now that I only focus on what makes me happy, I'm still expending as much energy, but I enjoy it.
I used to sacrifice my happiness for future benefits. Now, what I do today is the benefit. I still work towards greater, long-term outcomes, but I'm enjoying life on a daily basis.
How did journaling affect your coaching experience?
The few times I had done journaling previously, I found it frighteningly effective at helping me sort through my thoughts. Coaching gave me the opportunity to explore my thoughts on a deeper level.
Dave encouraged me to journal every day, even on days that I didn't want to. I could even write about why I didn't want to journal. I learned that you don't journal to answer your life's questions, you journal for the sake of it, and you find the answers along the way.
The toughest journaling question I had to answer was, "what do you want?" I avoided it. We discovered that I was uncomfortable with this question because I didn't know what I wanted. We saw that at times in my life when I know what I want, I am highly motivated to achieve it, and I am happy. It is when I don't have a focus that I feel burnt out.
He helped me find my thinking blind spots. For example, I journaled about a frustrating buy-out agreement that our company was negotiating, and I wrote, "I am the only one that can make this happen." Dave challenged me on that. He explained how I wasn't the only one who could do it, but I was setting it up so that I was.
How has coaching affected your work?
I worked for a visual effects company with my brother. Since coaching, I've made a huge career shift. I'm currently launching a start-up for pilots. This transition was attributed to coaching. It helped me see that I needed to separate my perception of myself from the business. I used to derive my self-worth from how the business was doing. I now no longer see the success of my business as my success as a person. It was only once I got to that point that I could ask myself what I really wanted from work. I gained the confidence to identify what aspects of work I enjoyed doing, and now I do just those.
Was there anything that surprised you about the coaching process?
I knew that I would be journaling every day and would have a coaching call each week, but I wasn't sure if that would be enough. As it turned out, I discovered so much while journaling and receiving daily feedback from my coach. During the phone call, I never had to waste time telling stories or playing catch-up, because we already covered it by journaling. The phone conversations were so powerful. Instead of Dave giving me answers to my problems, he showed me what questions I need to be asking myself.
Would you recommend FOM to others?
Yes, and I have. I have explicitly sent people over to it. Even people who didn't know I did coaching witnessed my transformation and asked about it.