INSIGHT OF THE WEEK
“Usually when we choose affirmations, or we’re told to pick an affirmation, it’s a stretch.”
-Kim Ades, President and Founder of Frame of Mind Coaching™
Why Affirmations Don’t Work
An affirmation is a statement that we tell ourselves in order to make it our reality. Some examples of affirmations are, “Today will be a perfect day,” “I will crush my to-do list,” “I am a genius,” and “I am thin, fit and healthy.”
Do you repeat affirmations to yourself every morning?
Do you write motivational messages on your mirror?
Do you scour the web for inspirational quotes to live your life by?
While there is nothing wrong with surrounding yourself with positive messaging, there is a fundamental flaw with how most people approach affirmations.
Watch as Kim Ades, President and Founder of Frame of Mind Coaching™, shares why affirmations don’t often work and what you can try instead.
Kim Ades: Why am I not such a huge fan of affirmations?
Because usually when we choose an affirmation, or we’re told to pick an affirmation, it’s a stretch.
We don’t believe it.
If I look in the mirror and say, “I’m a beauty queen,” or “I’m going to be a model,” in the back of my head I say, “Who am I kidding?”
The “who am I kidding” component trumps all.
It’s the beliefs that lead how I view the world.
I don’t want to pick an affirmation that’s so far fetched and create a greater distance between myself and that vision or that goal.
What I want to do is trade up.
What is trading up?
Trading up is choosing a thought that is slightly better than my current thought.
So if my current thought is, “Man, I look awful,” my next thought can be, “You know what, I don’t look so bad for my age. I’m OK. Compare me to all the other 49-year-old’s… I’m pretty good.”
That’s a more believable thought.
It’s not quite an affirmation, but it helps me climb the ladder of better feeling thoughts until I get to a better place where I go, “I’m pretty hot.”
People often choose affirmations that they don’t truly believe, making it impossible for them to experience the desired effect. Instead, swap thoughts that don’t serve you for thoughts that do serve you (and that you believe), and go from there.
At Frame of Mind Coaching™, we call this “trading up.” This is one of the many skills we teach our clients so that they can reach their goals with speed and agility.