Elke Rubach is a self-proclaimed “reformed lawyer” who is the President of Rubach Wealth, a holistic wealth management firm in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. She met Kim Ades, President and Founder of Frame of Mind Coaching™, through her PEO group and liked Kim’s no-nonsense approach. Elke reached out wanting to know how to go about setting goals more effectively. “Other coaching models are all about telling you how great you are,” says Elke. “I was looking for guidance, to be challenged and to be offered different ways of looking at things.”
Elke was matched with FOM Coach Dave Gorham and their personalities clicked. “Not only did he deal with my endless supply of ideas, but he really understood me,” she says. “He didn’t let me off of the hook. He had my back, it was a human connection, and he shared personal stories with me and vice versa.”
Elke started coaching to figure out her next steps at work, what goals to set and how to become a better leader for her team. She wanted to work on what’s next and wanted to lead, not follow. “FOM Coaching™ took a different approach,” she says. “It’s about your mindset, how you see things and the need for you to be at peace before you identify goals. If you’re not grounded, the likelihood of your goals succeeding is low.”
Setting goals wound up happening in tandem with her coaching journey. She learned not to assume or set expectations before reaching an agreement, as that could lead to disappointment. “The concept of expectations and agreements was very powerful,” says Elke. “It led me to a very different set of goals that were co-created with the team instead of me coming up with them and assuming the team could deliver.”
Dave taught her that words matter, and about the importance of “slowing down to go fast,” meaning to ensure your team is rowing in the same direction before going full speed ahead.
She also worked on fine-tuning her core values with Dave, and ended up bringing the core values exercise to her team. Without influencing their values or sharing hers, she was pleased to discover that her values and the team’s values were 90% aligned. She was also able to clearly see how some team members were no longer a fit and it ended up being an amicable departure.
Dave helped Elke take the time to think things through and shared how what you focus on multiplies. “When I found myself in a negative spiral, he taught me to catch myself in the moment and flip it around into something positive,” she says. “Just by doing that, your day changes, the outcome is a better one and it’s healthier overall.”
At work, she used to take on everything and more. Now she’s more deliberate with the work she agrees to. “I like to be of service, but saying yes to too much limits your service and depletes your energy,” she says. “The art of saying no was liberating.”
Coaching also confirmed that her parenting approach is the right one for her, though it might not be for others. Elke has 3 kids between the ages of 10 and 14, and has 5 simple rules that maintain their mental and physical health, their relationships and helps to keep order in the home. “I’m a mom – not a hospitality service provider,” she says.
When it comes to friendships, Elke learned that it’s okay to let go of friendships that are no longer serving her. “Some people are there for a reason and a season but you have nothing in common anymore except for your past,” she says. She describes this as a liberating experience that that freed up her time and gave her peace.
Elke treated the journaling aspect of FOM Coaching™ as an opportunity to go deep. “What I love about journaling, aside from being cathartic, is going back to your journal and seeing patterns where you keep tripping yourself up,” she says. “I had never been asked those questions before.”
Elke describes FOM Coaching™ as spring cleaning for your thoughts. “I’m more empowered and grounded and I think things through before agreeing to them,” she says. “I’m applying the same concepts from coaching with my clients. The FOM Concepts translate into every aspect of your life.”