INSIGHT OF THE WEEK
“Successful leaders look at everything in front of them with a very different perspective. They view everything that’s happening as good, even if they’re witnessing a train wreck.”
-Kim Ades, President and Founder of Frame of Mind Coaching™
Is Conflict Holding You Back?
You give one of your employees specific instructions for a project, but they don’t follow your instructions at all. Though they complete their tasks quickly and the quality of their work is up to par, this employee tends to go about things their own way. You want to talk to them about their habit of defying your orders, but you know that conflict might ensue. The last time you criticized them, they threatened to quit.
You and your spouse are both business owners with hectic schedules, yet you feel like there’s always a battle about doing the chores. One of you claims to do more housecleaning, one of you claims to do more tidying up, one of you always does the laundry, etc. After a long day at work, you just want to relax and have a pleasant dinner with them, but you often come home to a big mess they have made.
Your kids throw tantrums when they don’t get their way, especially, it seems, when you’re out in public. You’re at the grocery store, and your kid demands that you buy a super sugary cereal. They had it once at a friend’s house and have requested it ever since. You want to tell them, “No – we don’t eat that kind of garbage in our house,” but you want to avoid a temper tantrum.
When you think about these scenarios, what emotions do you feel? Do you feel uncomfortable, tense and perhaps a little afraid? Or do you feel relief, at peace and a sense of resolve?
Does conflict hold you back from achieving what you want? Conversely, does lack of conflict keep you stuck?
Watch as Kim Ades, President and Founder of Frame of Mind Coaching™, shares the role that conflict can play in our lives.
Kim Ades: We need to understand people’s beliefs because people’s beliefs will propel them forward and help them behave in ways that allow them to reach their goals.
Beliefs also really imprison people and hold them back from reaching their goals.
For example, a lot of people don’t like conflict, so they will hide from it because they feel that it’s bad, it’s uncomfortable, it causes friction and it makes somebody else feel bad.
But it can be healthy.
It can move someone forward.
It can move companies forward.
It doesn’t actually always have to be conflict, it can just be a useful, healthy conversation.
We don’t even have to think about it as conflict.
So what we believe to be true impacts our behavior.
Conflict is neither good nor bad – it is what you make it. If you avoid it at all costs, your opportunity for growth is greatly diminished. If you are constantly battling others, nothing will ever get resolved. But if you can have healthy discussions with the people in your life about the things you disagree about, you can move forward with them and get to a place you want to be.
At Frame of Mind Coaching™, we help our clients identify and challenge their beliefs so that they can reach their goals. We address their beliefs about themselves, their relationships, their business, their health, their past, their present and their future. We help them hold onto the beliefs that serve them and alter the ones that are holding them back. We teach them when to avoid conflict and when to meet it head-on.
To learn more about the extraordinary results you can experience with Frame of Mind Coaching™, schedule a complimentary coaching call with us!