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Find Out Your Values in 5 Minutes

by Frame of Mind June 24, 2013

Do you live according to your values? Are you overwhelmed by trying to live by too many? Learn about how to narrow them down.


There are many lists we make in our lives: New Year’s resolution lists, grocery lists, to do lists, etc. On all these lists, we add, rearrange, and one by one, cross each item off upon completion. There is always a sense of accomplishment that comes with swiping a pencil across one of the many items on our lists; it’s a sharp, quick sound that signals the completion of a task.

But there is one list with items that should never be crossed off: our list of values. There are many interesting things about the values we choose to live by. First off, without being consciously aware of our values, we make decisions and operate according to them daily. Our values guide everything we think, say and do.

Second, when our values are at odds with our actions, we automatically feel misaligned and uneasy. It is as though our values are an invisible force that constantly push us forward. When our thoughts and behaviors clash with these internal values, we can experience guilt, regret and discomfort. When they do align though, we can feel accomplishment, self-assurance and a sense of well-being.

Third, we often share common value systems with the people we are closest to. While our common interests and personalities might differ, if our main value system differs from those of our spouse, partner or friends, a great deal of tension can arise.

Last, we tend to live according to our top six to eight values. If we try to live by any more, it is easy to get distracted and overwhelmed. It becomes harder to figure out what our top priorities are, and we can find ourselves struggling to keep up.

Do you feel like you live according to your values? Are you overwhelming yourself by trying to live by too many?

Creating a list of values that reflect what’s important to you can help you decide how to make decisions with your time and money. 

If you are having trouble narrowing down your list, ask yourself these questions:
-What matters most to me?
-What do other people point out about me?
-What values reflect who I am now and who I’d like to be?
-What creates stress for me and how does that stress reflect my values?
-What would I never sacrifice?
-What lessons about life are important that I teach my kids and/or loved ones?
-What do I feel proud of?
-How do I spend my time and does this accurately reflect my values?
-Who do I respect and why?
-Is my life aligned with my values or do I need to do some work in that area?

Identifying your top values can be challenging, but it’s an exercise that can strengthen your decision-making skills and improve your happiness. Once you identify them, you’ll have a better sense of what makes you the most satisfied and fulfilled.

Of course, these are subject to change as your definition of success changes. You’ll find that as you continue to grow, your values change with your priorities.

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