Kim’s Insights: Who Moved My Bed?
As a coach, I am an agent of change.
I help people move from where they are to where they want to be emotionally, intellectually, spiritually and practically. If they are unhappy in their marriage, I help them change their thinking so that they can either be happy in their marriage or take action to end it. If they are frustrated at work, I help them change their approach to working with others or help them change into a new career.
Change is inevitable, and I teach people to embrace it.
I have been through a lot of change in my own life over the years. I have changed careers a number of times – from balloon decorating, to the development of simulation-based assessment tools, to coaching. I have changed homes, I have changed cities, I have changed cars, I have changed business strategies, and I have even changed husbands! I have gone from being divorced with two kids to being remarried with three step-kids. Change is something I typically embrace and usually enjoy.
Allan (my husband) and I redecorated our bedroom. We decided to turn the bed around to rest against the opposite wall. From the moment I saw the new layout, I was out of sorts.
First of all, it just looked weird! The bed was now the first thing you saw when you walked in the door. I kept wondering if there was some Feng Shui rule about being too close to a doorway.
Secondly, it was backwards. Needing to be close to the bathroom, this arrangement had me sleeping on the other side of the bed – the wrong side!
And thirdly, I am right-handed, and the idea of functioning in a left-handed world (where my night table now sat) just seemed awkward and uncomfortable.
I laughed at myself. It’s a bed – I just need to get used to it, I thought. I sleep on the other side in hotel rooms all the time. This is really no big deal. I decided to suspend my internal panic and give myself some time to adapt.
On the first night, I got no sleep. I kept tossing and turning to try to find a comfortable position. Every little thing agitated me – hugging Allan on my left side just wasn’t as cozy, the light from the street lamp was shining in my face when I turned one way, and the crack of light under the door haunted me when I turned the other. I woke up exhausted!
What the heck was I thinking? How did I possibly think that I could live with this change?
Still, I talked myself into the idea that I needed to give it another shot. It was far too early to admit defeat.
On the second night, things were no better. I still couldn’t get comfortable. I tripped over the garbage can when I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night and I couldn’t get back to sleep when I returned. It was my birthday the next day and all I really wanted was my bed to be back the way it was.
In the morning, I looked at Allan after his third rendition of “Happy Birthday” and sorrowfully told him that I just couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted my bed to be returned to its original spot – the spot it had sat in for the past 18 years.
When I got home that afternoon after an insanely busy workday, our bedroom was back to its natural order.
Ah… peace restored.
So what was that about? Why was it so hard for me to just go with the change? Why didn’t I adapt to the situation and learn to love it? Because I didn’t HAVE to. I knew that if I really wanted to go back to the way it was, that was an option I could ask for.
This is not always the case. Sometimes, we really don’t have any choice and we MUST adapt to change. In those cases, we have to endure the sleepless nights until it becomes the new normal.
Other times, however, we have choice. And when we do, it’s OK to say that there are some things that bring us comfort and it’s OK to keep them for as long as we can.
And I have to admit, now that my bed is back the way it used to be, I appreciate it SO MUCH MORE! Sometimes, it takes a little shakeup in order to appreciate the peacefulness once it’s restored.
Is there something in your world that you love just the way it is?