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Failure at Everything

by Kim Ades January 29, 2016


Have you ever had one of those days, weeks, months, or even years when you feel like nothing you do is working? You sit and reflect on the challenges that are in front of you, and you realize that this is an all-too-familiar place and that you’ve been spinning your wheels for a long time.

You may be driven and determined to reach extraordinary goals; you may be someone who is not afraid to take action; you may be the type of person who keeps getting up after a fall. But it seems that the harder you try, the more exhausted you become. No matter what, you find yourself stuck in the same place. There are moments when it seems like all evidence supports the fact that you are simply a total failure.

The feedback you receive from those in your world is less than stellar, the goals you are trying to attain are consistently out of reach, and even the simplest daily activity, like finding a spot to park or drinking your coffee without spilling, is frustrating and arduous at best. There are moments when you just feel like throwing in the towel and calling it a day. After all, it’s not like you are adding any value to the world anyhow.

These glimpses of failure, as dark as they seem, are the greatest opportunity for growth. It all depends on how you cope with them. What do you do when you feel like a failure? Do you stick your head in a hole and hope that nobody notices? Do you thrash about, beating up everyone in your midst? Do you mope around, hoping that someone will notice your state of depression and sympathize? Or do you fight with all your might to get out of the funk, putting on a happy face even if you are hurting quite badly on the inside?

What do YOU do?

Here are 5 things to remember when you feel like a failure:

1. Everyone fails at one point or another, and those who are extremely successful fail often. Failure is a part of life. It’s the pathway to learning and growth. Failure means that you are alive and still trying. And that’s a beautiful thing.

2. Failure does not have to be permanent. It tends to last longer when you decide that it’s not okay to fail. If you decide that failure is simply a blip in the course of your life, then it comes and goes with relative speed. If you decide that it’s a reflection of who you are and that you deserve it, you are now turning your failure into an opportunity for self-abuse. That’s not so cool… and it’s a colossal waste of your energy.

3. With time, failure can turn into a great story that can be leveraged to truly connect with others and help those who face similar challenges.

4. Failure builds muscle. What kind of muscle? Your mind muscle. It builds emotional resilience. The more you fall and get up, the easier it is to get up quickly after a fall.

5. Failure provides valuable experiences. Those who can sort through their failures and apply the lessons they’ve learned to new situations are ultimately setting themselves up for a bigger win.

As Michael Jordan once said, “I can accept failure − everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.”

Experience the Frame of Mind Assessment Interview Kim Ades

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