CCBot/2.0 (

Get your complimentary white paper, “7 Thinking Traps That Leaders Encounter” written by Kim Ades, Founder and President of Frame of Mind Coaching™!

Thank you for subscribing!

This is not a valid email address!

View All Posts

Are You a Cynic?

by Kim Ades August 31, 2017

Are you a cynic or an optimist? In other words, do you contribute to people’s well-being or do you leave them feeling empty? The choice is yours.

According to Wikipedia, cynicism is an attitude or state of mind characterized by a general distrust of others’ motives.

Some people are proud of being a cynic – they feel that it gives them an edge and prevents others from “pulling the wool over their eyes.”

Are you a cynic?

Recently, I experienced an onslaught of cynicism after coming home from a mind-blowing experience with a medium − someone who communicates with people who have passed.

Are you rolling your eyes already, thinking to yourself, “Oh God, she’s jumped to the land of spiritual woo-woo”?

I wondered if I should even share this with you here, as I was a little concerned that you’d think I went off the deep end, but I decided to forge ahead in order to really make my point about cynicism.

So yes, I went to see a medium with my husband and my mother-in-law. Our primary intention was to establish a connection with my father-in-law who passed two years ago. We wanted to bring some measure of peace and closure to my mother-in-law who has been struggling since his passing.

It was honestly incredible. Not only did we connect with my father-in-law, but we also connected with my father who passed in April. The medium shared messages that were specific and distinct. She knew both of their names, she knew the names of all of our children and she even knew specific details about them that completely knocked our socks off. She gave us messages that were so accurate and relevant. We were all totally gripped and felt that we truly had an experience of complete and utter connection with the other side.

We drove home on a high. The experience was beyond our wildest expectations.

That is, until we got home. We shared our experience with some of our extended family members and their cynicism surfaced right away.

They laughed at us. They made fun of our naiveté. They told us that there were a million ways for her to gather that information and feed it back to us.

“You are suckers,” they said. “She did her homework. She looked you up on Facebook and got everyone’s names. She said things that anyone might say to a widow. She took a good guess.” Blah, blah, blah.

Perhaps they were right. But what did their jeering accomplish? It popped a massive hole in our beautiful, exquisite bubble and had us questioning the legitimacy of the medium.

From my perspective, their approach did nothing but leave us feeling down and depleted. The medium brought us to an emotional high, and after sharing our experience with our family, we were pushed over to fall, crashing down from our perch.

It took a lot of muscle for me not to get sideswiped by their perspective. I took a moment to ask myself honestly, “What did I believe to be true when I was in the room with the medium?” There is no question that while I was there, my father and father-in-law were both with us. That point of view leaves me feeling comforted and full.

At the end of the day, the truth doesn’t actually matter. The bigger question is: does your perspective contribute to someone’s well-being and sense of happiness, or does it leave them feeling empty and disappointed?

What kind of impact do you want to have on others? It’s up to you.

Take a moment to think about your impact on the lives of others. Are you satisfied with your impact?

If you sense that there’s room for improvement, then I invite you to take our Frame of Mind Assessment and schedule some time to talk with us.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get a Taste of the Frame of Mind Coaching™ Experience

Are you ready for change?


" rel="nofollow" onclick=",'template_window','550','400','yes','center');return false" onfocus="this.blur()">