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Do You Struggle to Commit?

by Kate Hefford November 2, 2017

Are you hesitant to commit to your goals or your relationships? Here’s what to do when you find yourself stuck on the sidelines.


Hello FOM Coaching fam! My name is Kate, and in case we haven’t officially met yet, I’m the Communications Coordinator for Frame of Mind Coaching™. For the past 3 years, I have worked closely with Kim, Allan, the FOM Coaches, those certified in the FOM Coaching Methodology and our clients. I manage our social media accounts, speaking engagements, newsletters, website… you get the idea.

Most recently, I’ve been helping to plan our upcoming FOM Methods program.

For those of you who don’t know what that is, Methods is the in-person component of our FOM Certification training program. But it’s so much more than that. (I’ll get into that later.)

This is my fourth time attending FOM Methods, but I’m still a newbie compared to FOM coach Becca − this is her 6th time!

Just like my “regular” job at Frame of Mind Coaching™, I also wear many hats at FOM Methods. I do everything from organizing the event itself to creating promotional content to helping out at the event. I even get to participate alongside our attendees.

Each time I attend Methods, it becomes a more familiar and comfortable place to be. But my first time around, I felt completely out of my element − truly like a fish out of water.

At the beginning of my first Methods, I clung desperately to the idea that I was there in a purely “professional” capacity. I was there to help and keep us on schedule − something I still try to do when we stray from the agenda at times… *cough* Kim *cough*

Meanwhile, everyone around me was opening up about their thoughts, hopes, beliefs, dreams, worries and fears. They were journaling together and coaching each other. I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous, but I told myself that I was there to serve, not to join in. When everyone read their journals out loud, Kim would ask me, “anything from you, Kate?” and I’d respond with, “No, I’m good.”

When asked why I was being so serious, I told the group that I wanted to be professional, and therefore I couldn’t be fun. “Who says you can’t be both?” Becca asked me.

Eventually, I got called out for not journaling. After all, everyone else was an open book − why shouldn’t I be? So I started to open up, and I participated more and more. The more I shared, the more invaluable feedback I received in return. And that’s my message to everyone reading this:

Whether you’re attending this (or a future) round of FOM Methods, coasting at work, hesitating to commit to your goals or your relationships – GO ALL IN! The more you put into something, the more you get out of it. 100%. Every time.

I know full well that I’m going to dive in head-first, participate fully, and get personal and emotional in front of all my colleagues at this FOM Methods. And I’m good with that. Because otherwise, what’s the point?!

Do you jump right into things? Or do you stand and watch from the sidelines? If you struggle to commit, ask yourself, “Am I in the wrong place or am I in the wrong frame of mind?”

Our awesome team of coaches are always happy to sort through issues like this. To schedule a complimentary call with one of them, click here.

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