Client Spotlight: Wanda Slater
Name: Wanda Slater
Career: Coach, Manager, Choir Director & Voice Teacher
Coaching: 1-on-1 Coaching with Amy Scupham
How did you hear about Frame of Mind Coaching?
As a leader in my church, I was invited to attend an FOM Coaching presentation hosted by Amy Scupham and Becca Buttermore, two senior FOM coaches. It was awesome. The presentation challenged many of our fundamental beliefs. I raised my children in a similar way — to believe that we always have choice, we don’t have to be stuck where we are and that just because something may look one way doesn’t mean that’s how it is. But I never had a framework for any of it. FOM Coaching provided the framework. During the presentation, I found myself thinking, “I get this! I like this a lot!”
What were you struggling with prior to coaching?
I had recently moved back to my hometown to be near my family, but there was a lot that came along with it. When I would visit my parents, I felt like I needed to wear armor to protect myself. I would take things they said personally and I clashed with my dad’s political views.
Also, while I was getting coached, my daughter was going through a divorce and had just moved near me with her child. My daughter has Asperger’s, and I tended to interpret the world for her — meaning I’d give her lots of options for perspectives instead of letting her figure things out for herself.
How did coaching impact those relationships?
Coaching taught me that I was constantly anticipating negative behavior from my parents, and so that’s what I was getting from them. Meanwhile, what I wanted was to have a good, calm and comfortable relationship with them. I realized through coaching that regardless of what my parents say, I don’t have to take it on. I don’t have to understand it, I don’t have to take it personally and I can still love them. I can just accept them for who they are and how they show up.
Coaching also helped me see that I can trust my daughter to make decisions because it’s not my life to live. It helped me become more hands-off and more respectful of my children’s ability to make choices and handle the outcomes.
I’ve learned to just be here for the people in my life and to support them. I’m much more relaxed and at peace.
What was your relationship like with your coach?
Amy has a great sense of humor and a wonderful way of looking at things that you’re struggling with. She helps you shift them in such a way that you realize, first of all, they’re not your challenges. The ways in which other people behave is not about you, it’s about them. Amy taught me to look at those struggles differently, and if not laugh about them, at the very least accept them for what they are and realize it’s not about me. She’s just very insightful.
Why did you decide to attend FOM Methods?
I was intrigued by the FOM Coaching Methodology and wanted to learn more about it. I’ve been a performer, a singer, I’ve taught, I’ve run an office — none of these things sparked a great enough interest in me. I felt like all of my experiences were leading up to this and that I could coach and be great at it. I felt powerfully connected to it. I love that I can sing and perform, and I love when I’m teaching people, but it rarely feels as great as coaching. This feels more authentic to me.
What was your biggest takeaway from FOM Methods?
I learned that I don’t have to believe everything I think. Thoughts float around all the time and some of those thoughts don’t serve us. We can focus on them and let them yank us around, or we can dismiss them and move on to better, more helpful thoughts.
Would you recommend FOM Coaching to others?
Absolutely, 1000%. Everyone should do it!
Do you take the things that people say personally? Is it hard for you to accept when people have different views than you? Do people tend to disappoint you? Remarkably, this has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with you!
Don’t believe us? Take the FOM Coaching Assessment and schedule a call with us to discuss your responses and discover how to stop letting others have such a negative impact on you.