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Are You an Anchor or a Sail?

by Kim Ades June 8, 2018

Are you unphased by what’s going on around you like an anchor, or do you get blown around like a sail?

One of our clients has a direct report whose fluctuating moods and bad temper affect his mood as well. This client has set himself up so that his happiness and his relationship with this direct report are contingent on how she responds and behaves.

Another one of our clients finds herself constantly distracted by what her team members are up to. She often points out that they don’t do things the right way. She complains that one team member in particular speaks too loudly when he’s on the phone and it throws her off.

In these situations, both of these clients are being like the sails on a sailboat. Whenever wind comes along, the sails pick up the wind and travel along with it, for better or for worse. They are completely at the mercy of whatever comes at them.

Our advice to them is to be more like an anchor. An anchor remains solidly planted regardless of what goes on around it. From such a firm stance, one can set the tone for any relationship or experience.

We can position ourselves so that we don’t get bothered by other people’s actions, behaviors or points of view.

Through coaching, we help our clients identify their true values and help them to focus on behaving in accordance with those values, no matter what. They learn to act in ways that represent who they truly want to be in the world. They don’t concern themselves with what other people are doing. They become consistent. They are the anchor.

If your values are, for example, to have peaceful relationships, or to always be polite, or to be courteous, you can learn to show up that way even when others are blowing hot air.

Wanda Slater, one of our incredible FOM Coaches, compares this analogy to being like a buoy in the sea. Sometimes the sea is calm, sometimes it’s not. Regardless, you stay centered and you stay afloat.

However you choose to look at it, know that the actions of others don’t have to rock your boat. Coaching can show you how to stay calm and at peace in the face of any storm.

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