Is the Grass Really Greener on the Other Side?
By Kim Ades
June 29th, 2010
I coach a lot of people who are in a state of dissatisfaction with something in their lives.
Their marriages are not what they used to be, their jobs are not what they expected, their kids are not behaving with respect, and they wonder what it would be like to live a completely different life. They imagine themselves somewhere else - with a different spouse, or without a partner all together, living in a different house or a different country, going to a different job, and living without the day to day responsibility of taking care of their kids. They look at people who live like this and they feel slighted with their lot in life.
This is not what they pictured for themselves when they were younger. They thought it would be more fulfilling, more exciting, and far less mediocre. The gap between what they imagined and what they are, in fact, experiencing is too big to ignore.
So they begin to consider their options. Get divorced? Have an affair? Find a new career? Sell their home? Get a motorcycle? Not only does the search begin, but so does the experimenting with substances, gambling, thrill seeking activities, and outside sexual adventures on the hunt for more 'passion and affection'. For a while, it breaks up the monotony and injects a bit of spice into their routine. They feel young again and full of vigour but still something is missing. After a short while they find themselves dissatisfied once more. They don't understand why the new job didn't work out or the affair didn't last or the motorcycle didn't give them the thrill they were seeking for any extended period of time.
Here is the answer... when people travel over to the other side where the grass is greener, there is something that follows them... themselves. And this is inescapable. So they become confused, agitated, and in a fog about where they are, where they have come from and which direction to go from here. They don't understand that if they don't really address their frame of mind, their troubles follow them wherever they go. They keep chasing some elusive thing, that doesn't actually exist out there but rather is born from one's own thinking and mindset. If one lives a life of purpose, whatever that means, agitation and dissatisfaction is a far distance away. You really don't need to change your home or your car or your spouse in order to experience passion or meaning. You need to come to the table equipped with enough of it so that you can even spread it around.
The key lesson is this... the grass in NEVER greener anywhere else. The grass, wherever you are, is only ever as green as your own passion, meaning, and vision allow it to be. If your own grass is not as green as you would like it to be, understand that it's a function of the lens you are looking through. If you want to experience a different life, before you make a major change, try changing your lens first. Do the work that is necessary to feel passionate, regardless of circumstance. Pick up the skill set that allows you to use your mindset to create the life that you always imagined.
Is it worth it? You can spend a life time of looking for greener pastures only to continue to find them in someone else's backyard or find a way to be a better gardener and grow the greenest yard in your neighbourhood! You decide.
What You Focus On Grows: Free Teleseminar
By Kim Ades
June 29th, 2010
"What You Focus on Grows" is one of the most powerful Frame of Mind Coaching Principles that we teach our coaching clients.
In fact, it is so powerful, that I wrote a book and called it "What You Focus on Grows: Stories for your Frame of Mind." It is the basic principle that we use to understand and make sense of our clients' life experiences, both good and bad.
What You Focus On Grows is the theme of our next Teleseminar, happening Thursday, July 1st at 3 p.m. EST. I'd like to invite you to join me on the call.
Actually, I'd like to invite you to take advantage of the opportunity to be coached on the call.
I will personally coach a handful of people and uncover the thinking patterns and beliefs that hold them back...beliefs that they aren't even aware that they focus on.
Would YOU like to be coached? If you are open to it, this experience could change the way you think, the way you see the world, the way you communicate, and the way you accomplish your goals.
Through the use of one journal entry and a series of questions, I will reveal the personal thinking blueprint that drives the results you are achieving (or not achieving) in all areas of your life, both personally and professionally.
Understanding your current thinking blueprint and strategically designing it to help you attain your objectives is truly the secret to massive success. But it can not be done and sustained without understanding your personal blueprint first.
Join me on Thursday, July 1st at 3 p.m. EST and experience it firsthand.
Click Here to Sign up Now!
And Click Here to submit your journal entry.
Kids Corner: Done With Grade 5!!!
By Ferne Kotlyar
June 29th, 2010
Yes! It's the end of the year and I am finally done with grade 5. Although this year went by really fast, my teacher was not the best. Sometimes she was nice and gave us candy, but then sometimes she was not so nice. She always gave the boys more time in gym. For proof, a girl in my class even timed it.
At the beginning of the year, I didn't believe my teacher liked me. In the past, I always did well in math and I never got lower than an A. In her class after wrote a math test, she gave me a B+. I noticed that she made a mistake in her marking. So I went to tell her and she said "no, you cheated!" That didn't feel so good. Even my friend told her I would never cheat and still, she said "no" and did not fix my mark. You are probably thinking that it's just one mark and that it's not going to change my total grade, so what's the big deal? But you would be wrong. My teacher rounds her decimals on her test papers and I was only one decimal point away from getting an A. That's why I wanted that mark so badly.
Luckily near the end of the year my teacher started to like me because I was good student. I always raised my hand and did my homework and I never got in trouble.
Although my teacher was not the best, she was not as bad as I thought and I learned a lot from her. I learned that even if I don't like my teacher too much, I can still focus and get good marks, like an A in math!
